Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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