i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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