So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
