ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
