You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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