I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
