There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
