I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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