My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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