Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Im just a social blackout drinker.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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