Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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