Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

wat bout pragnant strippers??

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(502): View more from Kentucky

All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.

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(443): View more from Maryland

So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.

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(913): View more from Kansas

When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb

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(586): View more from Michigan

My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants

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(860): View more from Connecticut

whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.

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