Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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