My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
