Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
