There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
