It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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