let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
