return my video game
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dicks are not precious.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
