this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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