Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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