I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
