weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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