I have demons in me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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