I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
