I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
