I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
