There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
