I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
