I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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