shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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