are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
