mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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