Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
