piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
