This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
