That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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