I hate your face
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
