He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Semen is not good for contacts.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
