my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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