did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh god it's open bar.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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