is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Im part way to drunk.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
