I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Reggie can tackle my bush.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
