Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
