My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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