Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
