i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just want nice things and good sex
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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