I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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