Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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