he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
