i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
